In an earlier post I talked about the child who is suffering quitely, and often 'invisibly' as this quite behavior is often not concerning to the parent, but understood as 'easy.' As a therapist I unfortunately often only get to see these children after the suffering has been going on for a while, and has reached a certain point where it has reached a magnitude that it has become visible - either through a suicide attempt, self harming behavior, or by concerns expressed by teachers or other people involved.
On the other end of the spectrum is the loud child. The charicature of this child is a 3 year old agitated, noisy, disorderly, sometimes violent child, who is also lively, restless and very difficult to live with. He is not going to be the teacher's favorite when he enters preschool!
Do these children suffer? Or do they make their environment suffer? They do test their parents pushing against limits to explore their firmness, and consistency. They need to be firm so they can feel safe and protected. The limit helps them to structure themselves. So, sometimes it could be that it is the parents that need the support and help with this very challenging and not very easy task.
But it could be that this turbulency masks an underlying anxiety as the child does not feel secured by a certain structure. It could be that the child is suffering from that, but not always. When parents consult me for such a child, it might take some time to explore whether the it is indicated to see the child in treatment. As each child and each family is unique this has to be addressed and decided on a case by case basis.
If you want to schedule an appointment with An Bulkens, call (530) 321-2970.